This is by far the hardest post I ever wrote, but at the same time it also feels incredibly liberating. Writing everything down, helps immensely with the coping process. I was getting ready to publish a completely different post – a pregnancy announcement, but sadly my pregnancy ended in miscarriage at 11 weeks.
Unfortunately, this was not my first miscarriage. I had one a few years ago, before we had our beautiful little girl. We were devastated the first time it happened (I was 6 weeks along) and the truth is, it never gets any easier. However, I am very lucky to have an incredibly supportive husband and family.
This time around, I had a missed miscarriage, which meant that the baby had passed away earlier (the doctors couldn’t tell me exactly when), but my body had failed to register that something was wrong. I started spotting at 11 weeks and with a heavy heart made an appointment with my GP. Spotting in pregnancy is not always a sign, that something is wrong, but I had a gut feeling. I was booked in for a scan the next morning. That night was horrendous. Not knowing whether there was a beautiful new life forming inside me or whether I was miscarrying was torturing. Sadly the scan confirmed my fears. On a positive note, the nurses and doctors in hospital were incredible – so nice, caring and supportive – Thank you!
I thought long and hard about publishing this post as it is something so very personal to share, but what really helped me in the first few weeks, after we found out that I was miscarrying, was looking through forums and realising that these early miscarriages happen to so many women and that I am not alone. There is so much encouragement to be found online. By sharing this post, I am hoping that I can give some of this encouragement to other women who are going through the same. There is always light at the end of the tunnel! it is hard to come to terms with pregnancy loss and it hurts (both physically and emotionally), but there is also an amazing support network out there – whether this is online or/and through family and friends.
We will try again and will hopefully be able to give our little girl a baby brother or sister in the not so distant future.